Take this personality test and find out which of the totally fabulous 40 on 40 women best represents your personality. Are you a Wilma or are you a Betty? Or are you secretly a Fred?
1. On a sunny day, you leave the house with:
a. Your keys, your wallet, your love of life
b. Your keys, your wallet, your love of life,
your watch, your umbrella, your sweater,
your cell phone your sense of self
2. Once upon a time in a far off land:
a. You danced with a prince on a mountain top at sunset... with unicorns
b. You were lost, the map made no sense,
and you wanted a shower
3. Sometimes...
a. You feel like a nut
b. You don't
4. Which vegetable do you identify with?
a. celery
b. cucumber (slightly chilled)
c. butternut squash
d. tomato. But a tomato is not a vegetable.
But whatever, it goes in salads.
5. Important:
a. b. c. d.
6. In the shower, you:
a. Shampoo, condition, soap, lather rinse, etc.
b. Daydream until you forget whether or not you already shampooed and end up shampooing seven times
c. Brush your teeth
d. Sing
e. a + b + c + d + shave your legs
f. Think about shaving your legs, but then,
really, what's the point?
g. Masturbate
7. Last time you talked to your best friend:
a. You asked her to join you for coffee
b. You told her about that coffee breath problem she's had lately
c. You stopped listening whens he was in the
middle of her story about Don Jarvis
and his pet centipede whom he
keeps on his desk
d. You laughed so hard you had to change panties, and then you sent her the peed on panties in a padded envelope with a note that says, "you make me laugh, thanks for being a friend."
8. Boby Dylan, Elvis Presley, The Beach Boys, Julio Iglesias, Aretha Franklin, or Frank Sinatra?
a. Dylan (by a long shot)
b. The king baby, and don't you forget it
c. La la la la la la surfing and such
d. Tears and a Latin sunset
e. R-E-S-P-E-C-T
f. Snap your fingers and point
g. Mix them together and add a back beat
h. Ear plugs
9. When the traffic light turns yellow you:
a. slow to a stop
b. calculate the safety factor and proceed accordingly
c. throw one hand over your face, prudently preventing a hidden camera from registering your face on a photo ticket, and the other hand up in the air, flipping off big brother
10. Once upon a time in a land far far away, you:
a. already got a question like this?
b. what?
c. I'm sorry, are you talking to me?
d. get your hand off my thigh
e. Jason, is dinner ready?
11. The last time you washed your car/hair was:
a. this morning
b. last night
c. last week
d. does anyone else find this question insulting?
12. Would you rather:
a. swim with sharks
b. go to a Sandra Bullock movie
c. swim with sharks
13. Important:
a. b. c. d.
14. I consider myself spiritually:
a. inclined
b. disengaged
c. om
15. If I were going to die tomorrow, I'd:
a. spend today with my loved ones
b. run down main street naked
c. run down main street naked with my loved ones
d. eat a lot of ice cream-covered chocolate
cheesecakes with sprinkles
16. I watch television:
a. never
b. occasionally
c. until my eyes bleed
d. whenever I need a neutral background
to sooth me during my hamstring stretches
17. Freedom is just another word for:
a. French Fries
b. bombing Iraq
c. nothing left to lose
d. slipping some Benadryl into the kids' food
during dinner
18. I like to read:
a. cereal boxes
b. non-fiction
c. novels
d. anything I can get my dirty little hands on
e. I can't even understand the words on this page
therefore I will be unable to select this option
19. Enjoy:
a. soy beans
b. black beans
c. green beans
d. jelly beans
e. farting
20. Most important:
a. b. c. d.